Parent Teacher Conferences.. Prepare Yourself My Friends

If you have been teaching for a while, I am sure you have experienced the wide array of personalities that spawned those beautiful learners you get to work with every day. Parent Teacher Conferences are the one time you get to sit down and spill out everything you have learned about your students in 10-15 minutes. If you are lucky, you get to do this twice a year. They take skill, organization, and honesty. You have to show parents that you care and that you are an advocate for their child. I will get to all of my tips and tricks to changing your conferences into Student Led Conferences at the bottom of this post, but first, I thought I would help you to get to know the parents that you will be working with so you can be prepared for anything that comes up.

The Crier

This is the parent who is either so proud of the accomplishments their child has made, they don't know what else to do about their child's misbehavior in class, or they are just so overwhelmed with their own personal life that they end of crying at some point during the conference. I have to admit that with 5 children, I have shed a tear or two for all of the above reasons at conferences. This parent needs reassurance that you are there for their child, you will do whatever it takes, and you are not giving up. If the parent only talks about their own personal life and their own turmoil (which has also happened) try to listen for a minute and then turn the conversation back to the child by saying, "I am so sorry you are going through so much. Here is a tissue. But, we only have 10 minutes together, so let's try to focus in on Courtney for now."  If they are happy tears, just keep going and acknowledge the hard work that the student and parent have put in. If they are sad or frustrated tears, brainstorm with the parent and student on how you can help the student reach his or her goals. 

The Demander

This is the parent that demands more for their child.  In my second year of teaching I actually had a parent slam their hand down on the table and say, "So what do we have to do to get my kid into the gifted program next year." They demand special opportunities, "My son needs tutoring. I have no clue how to do common core and cannot help him at home. The school district should be providing this for him." They may demand more homework or less homework. Basically, this is the parent that isn't very nice about asking for something that they want for their child. The first thing to do is to take a breath, pause and listen. Write down what they would like, and try to see what you can do to help. It is best to remember that this parent isn't just being abrupt to get under your skin, they just want to get to the point and quickly. Even though it may seem odd to you, they really want what they think is best for their child. 

The Blank Stare or Nervous Parent

This is the parent that feels uncomfortable with a teacher. Maybe they were raised to not speak up to a teacher or had a bad experience with a teacher of their own in the past. Maybe they just have so much on their mind that they just want to get through this 10-15 minutes with you and then move onto their next child's conference. Whatever the reason, this is the parent that just stares and listens. It is hard to get them to ask any questions and produce a conversation. You and/or the student are definitely doing most of the talking on this one. 

The Educator

This conference will go two ways. The educator is the parent who also teaches, works in a school, is on the school board, or is an administrator. If this person is happy with what they've seen coming home, you haven't heard from them. If they are not happy, you have probably heard from them at least once a week. This is the person that expects you to be at the same level as they see themselves and their school colleagues at. They know common core standards and they know best teaching practices. You may feel comfortable with this teacher, or you may feel uncomfortable the whole time wondering if you are being judged. You are bound to hear, "We do that in my school, you don't need to explain it to me." You may also hear, "Can you please send me a copy of that. I love this." If you are doing student led conferences, this parent will love this idea and may even expect it. 

The Negotiator

This is the parent that is not very happy with their child's grades and they feel they can negotiate to get them higher. They may not be happy with a comment on the report card and want it removed. Maybe they feel that you were being a bit harsh on an assignment. This parent will offer up evidence to get you to change that grade. When put in this situation, it can be very easy to get defensive at first. If this happens, take a minute and think about what they are saying. Could they be right? Is it a comment that can be easily removed without changing anything, but making the parent happy. If not, and you feel strongly that you have given the correct grade or written the correct comment, be prepared to back that up with evidence from class. Use your formative assessments or student work to back up your decision and statement, or share the student's work compared to another student's work in the same class. (Take off names of course!) Data is data and they cannot argue with that. 

The Non-Believer

This is the parent that is hearing rave reviews or negative things about their child and they just cannot believe what they are hearing because their child is a complete nightmare or wonderful at home. This parent is shocked that their child is listening and quiet in class because they never shut up at home, or their child is excellent at home and misbehaves in school. This is also the child that is on task and does all of their work in class, but cries and fights with mom and dad about doing any sort of school work when home. These parents leave happy or surprised. So, what part do you play in all this? Show them the proof! Parents may think you are just being nice when you are complimenting great behavior and work, but when you show them the proof, they cannot deny what is happening in class. The same goes for the student who is great at home, but struggles in class. This happens a lot when you have a parent telling you their child does the work just fine at home, but in school you are not seeing the same thing. You have to remind the parents that you can only grade them on what you see in school.
The Appreciative Parent

This is the parent that appreciates everything you do. This parent may even show up with a small gift of appreciation to get you through the long night of conferences. This parent cannot even imagine how you do this every day, and are just so thankful for you and what you do. This parent sees the hard work you have put into their child and sees the extra effort you take. This conference will go smoothly and whether it is just you talking or the student talking, they will love you for having this conference with them. 

So, how do you take all of these personalities and have an effective conference with parents? The answer is simple!

STUDENT LED CONFERENCES

What do you need to do to get started?

• Tell parents to bring their child to the conference and that their child will be leading the conference themselves. You may have parents uncomfortable with this, but assure them that you are all in this together and the student needs to see that we are all a team. 
• Send a survey home ahead of time. Here is one that I have used that really helps to have a focus for the short time with the parents. Parent Teacher Conference Survey
• Prepare the kids. Hopefully you have done some goal setting with students already. If you haven't don't worry! You can use this quick one page script to help you out. Student Led Conference Script A script is huge! The kids need to have something to go off of and know that their time is short. They can read it right from the script or they can make bullet points for the conversation. You will do this as a whole class and students will make it unique to them. 
• There are lots of student led conference resources on Teachers Pay Teachers. I have used a packet in the past that has students self assess their behaviors and lists their goals for the conference and year. I am working on developing one of my own, but it isn't complete yet. 
• Have data and student work ready for kids to share. Tell them when they are planning they have some choices to make. Most parents want to hear about behavior, reading, math, and writing. However, if you have kids who are really into Science and Social Studies, then they can share that information as well. (This is from an elementary perspective, but of course in high school or junior high they would do this for the subject you teach.)
• Have a timer ready. You do not want to get behind in your conferences. 
• Have the kids practice with a friend the day of or the day before the conference. 
• Keep all of the materials with you. You will have kids who don't come with the parent because of other commitments. So you will need to share what the student wrote down. 
• What is so awesome about the kids making everything is that if a parent doesn't show or come to conferences, you can send it with the child and have a parent sign off that they saw it and had a conversation with their child. (Ensuring that 100% of your class has had some sort of a conference.)
• Be organized. Once you know your schedule, have everything out and ready in order of your conferences. Have your list outside your door and highlight the names as you greet each parent. This lets those in the hallway know where you are in your schedule. It also helps you to stay organized. Oh and don't forget to block out a few times for a bathroom break!
• If you have kids who can't read: K-1 students can do this too, they will just need more guidance. You can share data with parents for half of the time and then you can have the student share what they are doing well and what they are having a hard time with in class. 

These are just a few tips and tricks. The best way to do this, is to just jump in and try it! I can tell you that since I have started this, I have had no "Criers", "Demanders", "Blank Starers", or "Negotiators." The "Educators" are excited and appreciative of the process and the "Non-Believers" just look right at their child and discuss the disbelief while you are all together. I have found my students loved the experience. Some get very nervous and some are so excited, but through it all they see you, their parents, and them are all working together to help them have the most successful year ever. 

Oh, the Places You'll Go With a Great S.L.O.

Is student growth tied to your evaluations? Are you feeling like you are in a state of compliance with paperwork, rather than a state of reflection to help you become a better teacher with more student impact?  If you answered yes to any of these questions, please keep reading because I may have some solutions to your problems. 

As a coach, one of my roles is to support teachers with their S.L.O. (Student learning Objectives) for their evaluations. If you aren't from Illinois or maybe your district calls this something else, it is basically how we teachers in Illinois show that our students are making growth on a common assessment or teacher created assessment. This is our Type 3 assessment which uses our classroom data and it is tied to our evaluations each year. This is the reason why so many teachers get anxiety and stress just thinking about them. 

For many teachers this process of recording everything for the sake of an evaluation causes anger and frustration. Let's face it, teachers plan learning objectives, success criteria, set goals for students, plan strategies for achieving those goals, and re-assess on a weekly basis with students! So they are not frustrated with what the state is asking them to do, rather their frustration comes from the feeling of being required to record this process and have it included as part of their evaluation. Many people who see themselves as good teachers are feeling that they are having to "prove they are capable" because of failing teachers in the state who weren't doing their jobs. They sit and plan these S.L.O's, in frustration because they are being told they ave to do them and they have a deadline for when they are due. 

So, as a coach who is sitting along side them cheering them on, and also as a person who has to do this myself, I have been struggling with how to support their valid worries and complaints. Here we have capable teachers who are moving students in the right direction, and are seeing growth. They are goal setting, looking at assessments, and planning lessons based on students' needs. So I've been wondering what I can do to help teachers, and you my readers, to feel better about the process and put a positive spin on it. 

So here is what I came up with, knowing it has helped me in the past. It has also helped while I am working with teachers and supporting them through this process. Hopefully, it will help you too! 

1. We hear from our students all of the time, "Why do I need to do this?" As a teacher, we always have a reason to give our students that is tied to how they will potentially use this skill in their future and how this will help them grow as a learner.  So, I am putting a spin on that same idea for us. When we are thinking, "Why do I have to do this? It is a waste of my time,"  we also need to put that same spin on it. Think of the positive outcomes from going through this written process. Yes, you may be doing this already with your kids in your head or quick lesson planning, but do you truly sit down and cluster your kids giving them that specific of a growth goal with specific strategies in mind for each of those groups to help them reach that goal? Most elementary teachers are not sitting and writing out cluster goals for students for every unit, every subject. Heck, I don't know anyone who would have time for that. So, at least by going through this process you are so hyper focused on those students and their needs and moving them in the right direction, that in the end, you know that you have made an impact on their learning. You know what worked, what didn't work, and what you would do differently in the future and you have data to prove it. Maybe by going through this process, you will find that some students or clusters of students far surpassed your expectations of them and you can give yourself a well needed pat on the back!

I found that after I had finished my S.L.O.in math for my evaluation last year, I wanted to continue doing this for every unit in math. I also found that for each unit I increased my student growth goals for clusters as I saw how they performed from the pretest to the post- test. This was great information for me as a teacher, and helped me to reflect and grow in my teaching practices. 

2. Change your mindset. We teach our students to change their mindset and look at things differently, but it is often much harder to do as adults. I try to put a positive spin on everything to make it meaningful to me. Yes, it is a compliance piece of our job that we have to do in order to stay employed. But, like I said in my first suggestion, if we own the process and we use it to reflect and improve student learning, it will be worth it in the end. To me, anything that helps students grow as learners in the end is worth it. If we change our mindset from a compliance "I have to do this" mindset to a meaningful "I am doing this to improve my instruction and student learning" mindset, then the process will be more meaningful. 

So, back to the title. You've gone or are going through the process of writing your S.L.O. You and your students will both grow through the process. Your great S.L.O is going to show you and your students how far they have come. Your administrators will see the amazing work you are doing with students. It's a win win for everyone. :)

I hope that you can take even a tiny bit of this and use it to help you when you are feeling like you are doing a task that you've been told to do and don't see meaningful. This time it is S.L.O' s but next time it may be lesson plan reporting, turning in paperwork, or an assignment from a supervisor. Please comment below  if you have any other ideas or suggestions for teachers!