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Fake It Until You Make It

I've been in education for 18 years and the one phrase that always comes up again and again is "Fake It Until You Make It"...

Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts

Monday, October 9, 2017

Help Me, I'm Drowning!


Help Me, I'm Drowning!

I know I'm not the only one that has felt like I was drowning in work and family obligations. While I would love to blame it on our long summer and just adjusting to being back to work after 8-9 weeks, I find that this happens every year. Yes, summers make it a little easier to manage, but even then I am working hard. I read educational books to get better for the next year. I am creating items for my classroom or the teachers I am working with, and I attend trainings. I think I had one week this past summer that I actually didn't work or worry about work, and it took me going to Ireland to make that happen. In other words, we can't blame it on adjusting back to working every day. 

So once I accept the fact that it must be me, I think about me as a teacher over these past 17 years. Have I always worked every night and weekend??? Embarrassingly enough, the answer is yes. This has been something I have struggled with my entire teaching career. In all honesty, it goes back even before that to when I was a student. I have always wanted to perform at my best. I guess, many would describe me as a Type A personality. I was never satisfied with a "B" in class so why would I be satisfied with not giving 110% of myself on a daily basis to my students and school? 

My guess is that most teachers have this same thinking. They want to do their best for these kids. We get 9 months with them to make them their best and get them to their full potential. That is a lot of pressure! To make it worse, teachers have the added pressure of having their evaluations tied to this student growth, along with spending hours and hours of their time finding evidence to support their professional practice as an educator. This is all in addition to planning, making formative assessments, finding engaging activities and tasks for kids, grading, communicating with families, attending school events, participating in their PLC's, and dealing with students in crisis. If you have a family you do all of these things, and then go straight to a volleyball or basketball game, clean up the house, run some errands, cook/eat dinner, and maybe work out of your lucky. By the time you sit down, you are so exhausted that it takes just second for you to pass out!

This past year, I realized that I wasn't any good to anyone at home. My husband got the worst of me. I was so crabby and on edge. I was working all day, going in early and staying late after school only to come home and do more work! I was checking emails every night and replying to parents at 10-11p.m. I was attending my son's games and not really watching because my head was spinning with all of the things I had to get done or could try differently the next day. I was drowning. I began looking for other types of jobs. Maybe I could work at a restaurant and get great tips? Maybe I could be a motivational coach? I could work at the office in town and be off at 3:30 every day and bring no work home. When I talked to my husband about this, he stopped me and asked me if I would feel fulfilled. He reminded me that I got into teaching for a reason. That was all it took to remind me of the passion I had for working with kids and adults. I needed to make some changes to be able to handle all of my responsibilities. 


So, that's exactly what I did. I made some changes that I am still working on today and I started seeing some changes in myself and in the way I taught my kids. When I was "present and in the moment" I enjoyed my time with family and they enjoyed their time with me. I soon found out that if I didn't get to that one item on my list, the world didn't come to an end the next day. I examined the assignments I was giving and whether they needed to be graded or if I could just quickly take data on them right there in the moment. I realized that when I took time to work out 30 minutes a day, I felt happier and had more patience with others. I started writing down each day what I was thankful for, and it made me a happier person.  

I knew there had to be other ideas, so I went out to my Facebook friends and asked what they do to have balance in life. I've created this chart for you to easily print off and keep handy. I hope this helps you to gain more family time and be a more effective teacher this year. It has definitely helped me! Click here for the link. I separated this chart into 8 sections. I suggest you choose one thing from one section to try. If you find success, then try to add another thing to try. If you don't find success, don't give up! Pick something else to try from a different section. Some people just aren't morning people or can't go in early or stay late because of daycare. You have to pick things that will work for you! I wanted to thank Catherine for reminding me of the "Oxygen Mask Mantra" and  my Facebook friends Becky, Paula, Stephanie, Amanda, Kandi, Patti, Brooke, Kelli, Mary Ann, Jen, and Carrie for their suggestions for this post. 
Achieve Balance Chart






If you have any questions about any items on the chart, or would like to add some suggestions for those reading, please comment in the section below! I'd love to hear from you. 

And for your viewing pleasure, one final video abut our role as a teacher.  


Sunday, August 27, 2017

What Now?

What Now?

Step 1: Create a comfortable positive place where teachers can gather and relax, stop in for a nice cup of tea or coffee, and collaborate and reflect on our practices with students. CHECK (See my last post)

Step 2: Get to know staff and students and be as present as possible at all times. (I'M TRYING!)

As I mentioned in my introduction to this blog, I am feeling like a first year teacher. At times, I have also felt like a new student in high school where everyone knows everyone and I am an outsider trying to "fit in" with the group. 

Complete honesty: I have had some anxiety and fears over the past weeks. Here are a few of the negative thoughts I have had and  I am sharing with you hoping that I am not alone here!
  • I don't want people to think my kindness to them is in-genuine.
  • What if someone sees me planning or preparing in my PD room and they think I have been there all day and this is all I do?
  • Will I feel like I am part of the family? How long will that take?
  • I hope I get invited in and don't have to find a bunch of busy work to keep me engaged all day. 
  • What if I say the wrong thing?
Please someone tell me I am not alone here! I do have to say that many of these fears went away as soon as I had them. I am so lucky to be in a building where teachers are like family. They would do anything for one another and are so kind to me. I have also been pleasantly surprised  that I am being invited into classrooms. In fact, no one has told me not to come into their rooms! That alone was a huge relief to me. I am proud to say that I have visited every classroom at least once or twice just to observe what is going on or to participate in a Morning Meeting. I am even more proud to say that several teachers have enlisted my help for coaching sessions and a few are ready to begin coaching cycles with me. I have been so busy, in fact, that I have hardly had time to even be in my room completing paperwork or preparing for lessons and meetings with teachers. (I will get back to this issue in a future post.)  I do feel that my predecessor opened these doors for me by setting the tone for coaching last year and I am so extremely grateful to her for that! 

While I am no expert and am still learning every step of the way, I wanted to share some of the tactics I have used to get to know staff and show everyone that I can be counted on. I hope that some of these work for you if you are also new to coaching. 
  • Sit in the teacher's lounge at different times and get to know teachers casually over lunch. 
  • If you are walking by and have some time, pop in and ask if they need help. My first day I helped kindergarten teachers take first day of school pictures, second grade students decorate book boxes, and I sat in Morning Meetings among other supportive tasks. 
  • Gift Giving: I love giving gifts so I am doing popcorn for birthdays and made baggies with mints for teachers on their first day saying, "I was "mint" to work with you." A little "hammy" for sure, but that is how I am!
  • Be present and available.
  • Make sure teachers know you are their equal. I feel I have done a great job of repeating over and over, "I am no expert, but we can learn together."
  • My staff PD room has helped me to get to know several teachers and they appreciate what I have created for them. 
  • Ask teachers about their personal lives. I have created a spreadsheet to keep track of who I have talked with and who I still need to get to know better. This has helped me to remember their names as well as personal information they have shared with me about their families. 
  • Speaking of families: Make connections with things you have in common with people! I have found that I have so much in common with several teachers in my school. 
So, do I know what I am doing after these first two weeks?? Absolutely not! Every day I learn more and as these very important relationships grow and teachers begin to trust me, I can use the "openings" I have heard or seen to suggest a coaching cycle. I, like our students, am a work in progress and I am so glad I can put some of those initial fears behind me and focus on my next steps with teachers.